Funny...

The Comic Case of Nuclear Weapons : A Classic Indo-Pak Joke

If you haven’t read this article before you are really going to enjoy this:

During 1960′s to 1980′s, cold war between USA and USSR was such that if USA launches a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR’s satellite were capable of informing USSR army in 3 seconds,and in less than 45 seconds USSR would also launch its counter-missile.

See, what will be scenario for Indo-Pak war. Pakistan’s army decided to launch a Nuclear-missile towards India.They don’t need any permissions from their government, and they launched the missile.Indian technology is highly advanced, so, in less than 7-8 seconds, Indian army comes to know it and decides to launch more disastrous missile, but they need permissions from government of India.
They submit there request to Indian President.President, forwards it to Cabinet. Now, Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session after three days.
After three days, when LS meets, due to several walk-outs and severe protest by opposition, meetings of LS was adjourned indefinitely.But, president asks for a quick decision.

Note that, Pak’s missile failed to take off due to unknown reasons. So, their attempts for launch is still on. Meanwhile, Indian govt were reduced to minority one because a party, giving outside support, withdraws support. Therefore first task is now to get majority.President asks PM to prove majority next week.

Meanwhile, an external affair’s spokesman requests Pakistan for some bilateral talks, at secretary and minister levels.
Next week government couldn’t get confidence vote and hence a care-taker government is on the way. Now acting PM decides to……, but wait wait, Election Commission says that a caretaker government wont take such decision because elections are at the door and this decision will affect votes.Then Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says acting PM is authorized to take this decision. Note that, in between, one of the Pak missile was successfully taken off, and it fell 367 miles away from the target. Missile fell on a government building at 11:00 AM. But since no employee had reached office till then, so no casualties. Nuclear portion of missile was detached some where in flight.

Pakistan are now trying to get some good technologies from China, USA etc. government decides to launch similar missile, after all party meeting (note that this time all parties voted unanimously). It’s three months since army had seeked permission. Meanwhile some “pro-humanity”, “anti-nuclear” activists came on road against government’s decision. Human chains are being made in CA, LA and Washington for peace.
Some mails were sent to Indians mentioning “Please forward it to as much Indians as possible”.On Pakistan side, sometimes missile fails to take-off, some times payload gets detached from the missile during flight.Some missiles deviated from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind flowing over Rajasthan, these missiles were neutralised by Pak itself,as these missiles started moving towards Karachi/Beijing.

Once a missile (from USA) was used, but Pakistan forgot to change destination, so it went towards Russia. Russians first neutralized the missile and then they launched an N-missile towards Islamabad.

NOTE: Russian missiles never fail

Shivneri, Lenyadri & Ozar Temple - Junnar

1 Day Trip From Mumbai / Pune

 SHIVNERI FORT

How to reach :
To reach on fort Shivneri first we have to reach Junnar. Distance between Junnar Bus stand and Shivneri is 2 km by road.
Ways to reach Junnar :
1) From Mumbai or Kalyan one can reach Junnar via Malshej Ghat or via Khandala Ghat. Route via Malshej Ghat is the preferable as it takes less time. Buses ply hourly from Kalyan towards Junnar. Distance from Mumbai is approximately 100 km.
2) From Pune or Shivaji Nagar one can take buses for Junnar. Buses ply hourly for Junnar from these bus stands. 3) On Kalyan – Nagar road there lie two diversions: a) Bangar Phata b) Aale Phata.
One can also descend at any one of these diversions and use local transport to reach Junnar city.

Shivneri Fort is a historic military fortification located near Junnar. It is the birthplace of Shivaji maharaj.

Shivaji was born at the fort on 19 February 1630, and spent his childhood there.he got his name SHIVBA here. Inside the fort is a small temple dedicated to the goddess Shivai Devi, after whom Shivaji was named.

There are statues of Jijabai and young Shivaji. At the centre of the fort is a water pond which is called 'Badami Talav'. To the South of 'Badami Talav' are the statues Jijabai and a young Shivaji. In the fort there are two water springs, namely Ganga-Jamumna, which have water throughout the whole year. Two kilometers away from this fort there are the Lenyadri caves which is one of Ashtavinayaka temple in Maharastra.

Detail Background:
This fort has lot to tell. Shivneri, a birth place of Chhatrapati Shivaji (1627), is located at a distance of around 3 km from Junnar (125 km from Pune). Shahaji, father of Shivaji kept his wife Jijabai in this fort during her pregnancy, as the fort was unique and difficult to reach. It is easier to reach the fort by the normal road than to climb from the hills. One has to get through 7 doors before reaching the actual fort. This fort is a very big structure with a very good height. The old and beautiful 'Devi Shivai' temple is on the way. Shivaji was taken from the name of this goddess. Shivaji spent his childhood on this fort. He acquired all the skills and training on this fort which he used while establishing Swaraj. He learnt the early lessons of Swaraj on this fort.

SHIVNERI

The wide base of the fort is towards the south and the narrow point is towards the north. The ascending path to the fort is defended by seven gates, the fifth one being armoured with anti-elephant spikes. The fort has several rock-hew cisterns and ponds, of which two large ones are known as Ganga and Jumuna. Today, there are only a few structures remaining in the fort. At one end there is a ruined stable and at the other end a mosque of the Mughal period. The house where shivaji was born (in February, 1630 AD) has been recently restored and a temple with statues of Shivaji and Jijabai called Shivakunja, has also been built. Sir Richard Temple in his book Shivaji and the Rise Marathas wrote about Shivaneri: You will see what a rugged precipitous place this is and what a fitting spot it was for a hero to be born in!
Junnar means "Jirna Nagar", one of the oldest cities of ancient India. The Shaka dynasty ruled here. Gautamiputra Satkarni, who was a Satvaahan king, defeated the Shakas to establish his rule. The era of Satvaahan is the most glorious one, as many artistic works were carried out during their rule. Junnar became their capital city. This was the golden era of our culture. Here more than 100 caves were carved out in the mountains surrounding Junnar. The mountain on which fortification was constructed, is well protected by steep scarps, and is the most suitable for constructing caves. Here 64 caves were carved, and eight inscriptions are found here. After the Satavahanas, the Shivneri for was occupied by the Shilaharas, the Yadavas, the Bahamanis and the Mughals. In 1599 AD the hill fort was granted to Shivaji's grandfather, Maloji Bhosale and passed down to Shahaji. Though Shivaji was born here, he had to surrender the fort to the Mughals and could not take it back in his lifetime.
Shivaji Maharaj left this fort in 1632 and it went into the hands of Mughals in 1637. In 1650 the local fishermen refuted against them. The folks lost to the rulers and were assassinated cruelly on the fort. In 1678 the Marathas raided Junnar, but attempt to capture Shivneri was futile. Shahu Maharaj brought the fort under his control forty years later. Later it was under the control of Peshwas.
The Shivneri cluster forts, comprising Harishchandragad, Junnar, Jivadhan, etc. was very important strategically, because it controlled the ancient Name Ghat Pass.

MALSHEJ GHAT

Type : Hill Fort Fort Range : Nanehjat
District : Pune
Height above sea level : 3500 ft
Difficulty rating : Medium
Base village : Junnar
Appx. time to reach the top : 2 hrs from the base village
Water availability : Water cisterns are available on the fort.
Food : Available at Junaar. Not on the fort.
Shelter : One can make a stay on the fort in Shiv Kunj or Ambarkhana. Shiv Kunj is a suitable option among the two because of water cisterns is available near it.
Best time to visit : Any time except summer.

More Photos HERE

LENYADRI

LENYADRI

Ticketed Monuments - Maharashtra

 Lenyadri Group of Caves, Junnar

Junnar (19°10’ N; 73°53’ E), Taluka Junnar, district Pune is located at a distance of 96 km from Pune and on the southern bank of river Kukdi. Another river namely Mina flows 5 km towards the east. The location of Junnar is also ideal, for, it is in the transitional zone between the Sahyadris and the broad plains to the east. It is encircled by a series of hills, on all sides, namely Sivanei and Tulja hills on the west; the Sulaiman on the north and east; and Manmodi on the south. It is also not far from Naneghat, a vital pass in the Western Ghats which connects the sea ports of Sopara, Kalyan and Thana with the cities and towns of the mainland like Nasik, Paithan, Ter, etc. Naneghat has yielded many label inscriptions and low relief sculptures of the members of Satavahana dynasty like Simuka, the founder of the Satavahana dynasty; Sri Satakarni, his wife Nayanika; her father Tranayakira and her sons Hakusri and Satavahana. There are various identifications of this place as an ancient city mentioned in contemporary accounts. One such identification is Minnagara, the capital of Nahapana.

Junnar has the largest number of excavations numbering over 200 independent excavations and spread over the four hills. All the excavations belong to the Hinayana phase and are datable from mid 3rd century B.C. to late 3rd century A.D. The presence of largest number of rock cut excavations, a large number of inscriptions enabling a paleographical study makes Junnar a prominent site for the study of rock cut architecture. Here there are 24 inscriptions, which provide useful paleographical data for the relative dating of the caves. The donors include members of the royal family as well as commoners, which also includes Yavanas (Greeks). One particular inscription from the Manmodi group mentions the name of a minister of Maharathi Nahapana (c. A.D. 119-124).

 

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Lohagad, Lonavala

How to reach the fort

1 Day Trip From Mumbai / Pune

From Mumbai, you can take a train to Lonavla. Malawli is the next station from Lonavla in the direction toward Pune. There are a number of local trains operating between Lonavla and Pune; you can take any of them. From Pune, you can take any of these locals.

From Malawli railway station, the fort is just 9 km away. Vehicles can go up to the foot of the hill. From here, which is near a village called Lohagaon, there are steps to the fort, numbering approximately 500.

However, people can also walk all the way till the fort. Bhaja Caves is on the way to Lohagad if a small diversion is taken. This walk is a particular favorite of trekkers, especially in the monsoon. It is a simple and easy trek and the distance from Malawli station to Bhaje gaav takes about 20 min. Distance between Malavli and Lohagadwadi can be covered in around 2-2.5 hrs. The trekking route becomes mucky when it rains and trekkers will have difficulty to walk till the fort. The walk is very enjoyable especially the picturesque scenery, lush green grass, cool mountain air, and the pleasant salubrious climate. A variety of birds and insects can also be spotted in these hills. There is a way to reach by Road. There are two different routes to reach the base of Lohgad by car.

For people traveling from Mumbai or staying back in PCMC, the route is via Lonavala. If starting from Pune take old Mumbai Pune highway. Just after you cross toll plaza before lonavala, keep your left till you cross “Manshakti” There is a Y type left turn just after “Manshakti” Take that left and drive for another 200 odd meter to take very first left again You are on way to lohgad after crossing the place called “Bhangarwadi” from where it is just 8–10 km. If you come across a railway crossing and Mumbai-Pune highway twice you are on right track. You are on way to Paud, continue till you reach “Dudhiware Khind” Just before it, take left for Lohgad from here it is around 4 km max. The road ahead is very steep with couple of sharp turns but safe.

For people traveling from Pune city, the route is via Chandani chowk – Pirangut - Paud After reaching Paud take right and drive for around 40 odd km. Just after you cross “Dudhiware Khind” you reach to the same place Take right for Lohgad base.

It is tar road and you can reach comfortably till the “Paytha”. Have a safe drive. It’s a wonderful place and should be tried in between mid August to mid Sept. when you can still have rain but the intensity comes down.

When it rains, the top of the fort is covered with mist and clouds and becomes particularly wet. It is advisable to carry protective gear during the rainy season (mid-June to mid-September). Further, food is not easily available on the route. Most of the food stalls sell water, poha, tea/coffee, snacks, and soft drinks.

More Pics HERE

A panoramic view of the Pawna dam can be seen from the fort.

Places to see within an hour drive from Lohagad:-

Bhushi Dam [ 30 min drive from lohagad ]

Lion's Point [10 min drive from Lohagad ] 

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Matheran

Getting to Matheran

Matheran is located about 100 km from Mumbai, 120 km from Pune. and 320 km from Surat. It lies on the busy Mumbai-Pune rail link and the nearest train station is at Neral, approximately 11 km from Matheran. From Neral, one can either rent a taxi (60 rupees for a shared cab, 300 for the whole car) to the entrance of Matheran. From the taxi stop at Matheran, one can walk to the city center or rent a horse (150-200 rupees per horse).

Since October 11, 2008 a bus service has been started till Dasturi Park from Neral and Karjat. For the same reason the cab drivers conducted a one day strike as a mark of protest.

Travel Information

The nearest airport is in Mumbai that is located around 100 km away from Matheran. Matheran has a narrow gauge railway station in the town center. The old Matheran Hill Railway is offering several daily trains to Neral - this takes some hours for just a 8km distance but is a railway adventure. At Neral you will have to change to Mumbai suburban railway which is taking you directly to Mumbai CST Station on the CST-Karjat route. Matheran is also very well connected by road with Mumbai and Pune. Matheran can be reached from Mumbai via Navi Mumbai and Panvel. Just after going up you will reach Dastiru Naka, which is the last stop up to which the vehicles are allowed and about 1.5 miles or 2.3 km away from the town center. Up to this point, one can also hire a direct taxi from Mumbai.

From Mumbai

Set off on the old Mumbai-Pune road (NH-4) through Dadar, Chembur, Navi Mumbai

Get on to the Mumbai Pune Expressway at Panvel (Near McDonalds). Get onto the expressway to avoid the congested road through Panvel.

Take the first exit (Shedung/Khopoli Exit)that comes less than 5 minutes after you get onto the expressway at McDonalds. (Here you will need to Pay a Toll at the toll-booth for using the expressway).

This exit gets you back onto the Old Mumbai-Pune Road. Follow directions to proceed towards Pune. Once again you will have to pay a toll for using the old Bombay Pune Road. (Toll in both places is about Rs.25 each).

Follow the old Mumbai-Pune road for approximately 10 km. This will bring you to a crossing where a big green sign asks you to turn left for Karjat/Matheran. (Do not miss this crossing as otherwise you will end up in Khopoli. There is a large statue of Hindu god Shiva on right side of the old Mumbai-Pune Highway which can be seen from a long distance. The left turn about 50 metres before the statue).

9 km After turning left you reach another crossing called Charphata Karjat where you need to turn left towards Neral.

A board of warning on Matheran road

11 km After turning left, you will reach the bottom of the Matheran Hill ghat road.

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Turn left here and climb 7 km to the Matheran Dasturi Car park.

Matheran Ghat

It is a steep and narrow road but well surfaced for the most part. When you reach the car park find a parking space in the designated area and park your car. The parking entrance fees and daily parking fees need to be paid here.

Matheran Entrance

No vehicles are allowed beyond this point. Matheran center is a 40-minute walk from Dasturi Car Park. Before you enter the limits of Matheran, Matheran Municipal council charges a fees of Rs 25 per adult and Rs 10 for children.

Once you enter, red dusty pathways welcome you to the nature. Porters are available to carry luggage. You can enjoy the walks through the red pathways or ride on horse. Manual 'rickshaws' are also available, each rickshaw is 'driven' by a couple of operators.

From Pune

Set off towards Mumbai on the Pune-Mumbai expressway. Get off the Pune-Mumbai Expressway at the Khopoli exit after passing Lonavla/Khandala and get onto the old Pune-Mumbai road. Approximately 18 km later, you turn right as per a big green sign, in Chouk town. Follow the signs from then on.

One can also exit Pune-Mumbai NH4 at Haal Phata near Khopoli to enter SH 35 which will take you straight to the bottom of Matheran Ghat Road.

Instructions on how to get from Neral to Matheran can be found on the corresponding Mumbai-Matheran section.
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By Train

Matheran is connected by toy train to the mainline rail route at Neral Junction. Neral Junction is well connected by local trains from CST along the CST-Karjat route. Click to get the Subarban rail map and timetable. Those coming by long distance trains should alight at Karjat Junction. Many trains on Pune-Mumbai route can serve the tourists coming from Pune side.

The journey is a visual delight for the tourists with a range of scenes to enjoy. The ascent begins a little after the Hardar Hills and reaches the Jamnapatti station, where it appears that road and rail have almost come together. They part here, though to meet again a little further beyond the steep slope of Bhekra Kund. The Horseshoe embarkment near the Mount Barry is a captivating scene to look at. The route runs another mile before it enters into the lone tunnel on the way. Emerging from the tunnel, the line zig zags sharply backwards and forward twice. Thereafter, the train crosses the Panorama Point and the Simpson Tank to reach straight to the Matheran Bazaar.

The journey on a 2 feet gauge commences from Neral at 08.40 hrs, 11.00 hrs and 17.00 hrs. The journey from the other direction begins at 17.45 hrs, 13.10 hrs and 14.35 hrs. The train covers a maximum of 12 miles in an hour thereby allowing the passengers ample time to soak in the beauty of the surroundings.

It is advisable to have your bookings done earlier through internet or by other means as getting tickets for the toy train becomes difficult in peak tourist seasons.

Route covered

Neral - Hardal Hill - Jammapatti Station - Bhekra Station - Mount Barry- Panorama Point - Simpson Point - Matheran Bazaar.

By foot

A road inside the Matheran Town

Matheran is popular among trekkers. Dasturi gate (Mathern car park) is approximately 8 km from Neral junction and a beautiful landscape can be seen from Neral itself. Streams cut through the farms. One can follow the road or walk through the countryside along the stream and take the trail used by localites. There aren't direction signs along the trail, so you'll have to take directions from localities or trek keeping the road in sight.

The trail crosses farms, streams, railway track at several places to add to the stunning landscape. Trekkers can rest and enjoy a snack midway at Janmapatti rail station where the road and track meet. There are a few eateries run by localites. Second leg of the trek is difficult than the first as the path gets steeper. Following the road should get you to Dasturi gate after which one has to take the unpaved trail till Matheran Bazaar. All trails in Matheran are well marked and getting around shouldn't be difficult.

More Pics HERE